EGGSHELLS

Thu, 29 May 2008 04:09:26 GMT

uh...do i actually have friends that would be willing to see the sex and the city movie with me? or is that asking too much?

seeing as most of my friends are

a) male,
b) not shallow, or
c) both

i probably am asking too much.

Tue, 27 May 2008 20:00:41 GMT

j. robert oppenheimer was the leader of the manhattan project during WWII; the project's objective was to design and build american bombs. john archibald wheeler was the head scientist in charge of designing and constructing the nuclear reactors from which the plutonium-239 for nagasaki was made. they both expressed deep anguish over their work, but for completely different reasons:

oppenheimer: "If atomic bombs are to be added to the arsenals of a warring world, or to the arsenals of nations preparing for war, then the time will come when mankind will curse the name of Los Alamos and Hiroshima…In some sort of crude sense which no vulgarity, no humor, no overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and this is a knowledge which they cannot lose.”

wheeler: "As I look back on [1939 and my fission theory work with Bohr], I feel a great sadness. How did it come about that I looked on fission first as a physicist and only secondarily as a citizen?…A simple survey of the records shows that between twenty and twenty-five million people perished in WWII and more of them in the later years than in the earlier years. Every month by which the war was shortened would have meant a saving of the order of half a million to a million lives. Among those granted life would have been my brother Joe, killed in October 1944 in the Battle for Italy. What a difference it would have made if the critical date had been not August 6, 1945 but August 6, 1943."

i find myself sympathizing with oppenheimer, but wheeler makes an interesting point. also, oppenheimer knew full well that the soviets were also attempting to develop atomic weapons--so was he just very naive?

--------------------

THE DE SILVA FAMFAM GOES TO ALASKA?! OHHHH SHIIIIIIIIT

Mon, 26 May 2008 17:35:05 GMT

First of all:
I am tired.
I am true of heart!

And also:
You are tired.
You are true of heart!

Sun, 25 May 2008 17:24:13 GMT

this article (http://www.tnr.com/currentissue/story.html?id=d8731cf4-e87b-4d88-b7e7-f5059cd0bfbd) seems pretty important.

Cloning is confused with resurrecting the dead or mass-producing babies. Longevity becomes "immortality," improvement becomes "perfection," the screening for disease genes becomes "designer babies" or even "reshaping the species." The reality is that biomedical research is a Sisyphean struggle to eke small increments in health from a staggeringly complex, entropy-beset human body. It is not, and probably never will be, a runaway train.

Thu, 22 May 2008 05:08:50 GMT

i've been in a strange state of late.
instead of desperately seeking distractions from schoolwork, i've been wanting to focus and do well--the internet isn't even that interesting right now. this would be wonderful except i really don't have that much work to do. however, it's possible that i feel "bored" because i'm actually doing a little work every day. maybe this is what not procrastinating feels like?

yesterday i was called "average" and this morning i was called "weak" so a lot of today was spent wallowing in self-doubt and loneliness which always leads to me making dumb decisions. also, this cold is really getting me down.

Tue, 20 May 2008 03:36:32 GMT

i didn't believe anyone when they said that having a bike would change my life. but they were right.
i have a new baby, and i like her.
this morning when i woke up (for some reason i can't explain) at 6.30, i took her for a ride downtown. and now i can get to class in about three minutes.

ahh, having a bike makes me feel good about going places.

Thu, 15 May 2008 04:07:27 GMT

this summer means Big Plans.

1. read books.
2. subscribe to the new york times and read every day.
3. start a real blog.
4. keep up this veggie thing/cook
5. get inked.
6. work at kaplan.
7. take GRE classes.
8. bike.
9. volunteer.
10. have fun or something.

most of these have to do with being a better person (more well-read, more prepared for the future, healthier) so i hope that number 10 doesn't end up pwning everything else.

i don't want to be dumb anymore.

Wed, 07 May 2008 05:19:02 GMT

i think my friends are pretty funny.

Tue, 06 May 2008 02:50:36 GMT

i ate so well today. ahh,
fresh fruit. fresh vegetables! water!! i don't even know who i am anymore!

i might have drank a little too much at the wexner center usher party which would account for me not being able to study right now.

Fri, 02 May 2008 20:49:49 GMT

yesterday!
wake up late
too late for class
watch bad movie in bed
so lovely outside
indian buffet with daniel
gossip gossip gossip
play croquet!
see brady on high
then colin near sullivant
and martin in front of the wex!
kt is indoors
save the world with ellis
become a fr--person
long walk home
snuggle snuggle
:)

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 03:18:48 GMT

we passed a dozen mismatched shoes to our friends, reading in foreign languages, and share the single orange vinyl stool. they are loud, and push a kiss on my companion. she laughs. there are people that know her in this room, who welcome her every time she walks in here. she is now. and the now gets us two free donuts. i quickly fade into a book, and she takes a cigarette break. i think i know what she is looking for, because she insists that the boy behind the counter be there for this break, one of those long quiet smokes, reserved for intimate conversation. this is probably not what happens. the details don't bother me, it is only a hazy past-the-looking-glass world, what happens in the cement side yard where the people smoke and take a break from the reality of fluorescent lights.

kt once wrote that. when i read it i envy her "companion" and then i remember it's me she's talking about and my life and i am very, very lucky to know the people that i know.

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:06:50 GMT

curiosity killed the samsam.

i can't concentrate on anything.
my nose is stuffy and my lips are cracked and my brain is heavy.
i need food.
i need to not fail tomorrow's midterm.
i need ANSWERS.

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 05:04:58 GMT

from SAM to HONUS, sent at 5:57PM: welcome to columbus, brother.
from HONUS to SAM, sent at 6:11PM: yay! tonight?
from SAM to HONUS, sent at 6:21PM: !!!! why thank you, sir. could i bring a friend?
from HONUS to SAM, sent at 6:21PM: of course. small sri lankan girl plus one.

tonight was good.

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:01:59 GMT

ahh
this weekend has been so marvelous.
today i woke up, slightly hung over but not too much, to the most brilliant sunday. my entire family was in columbus, so we ate brunch in the sunlight and they came over to see the bunny--we have a bunny!!!!! AND my sister might come to OSU for business school. then, kt and i meandered down the aisles of giant eagle, baked slightly hideous cupcakes, and celebrated springtime. christina's birthday picnic was perfect, chock full of attempted kite flying, yummy food, euchre, frisbee, and sundresses. and now i'm sitting in my clean room that smells of jasmine, listening to blonde redhead, doing astronomy homework, and reveling in my happiness.

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 20:30:39 GMT

OUAB usually brings like, motion city soundtrack, keane, and the roots to play their "big free concerts."

so M.I.A. playing a free show? sponsored by OSU? good work, guys.

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:08:47 GMT

i made a wonderful decision and dropped my class on religion and magic to instead take an astronomy class on black holes. my mind is blown every couple seconds. dr. weinberg throws books as us to demonstrate acceleration, is fucking hilarious, and if someone asks a question he doesn't know the answer to, he'll say "i'll figure it out" and at the beginning of the next class he'll scribble three chalkboards worth of calculations in response. my textbook came in the mail today and i haven't been able to stop reading it. never have i written so many exclamation points and question marks in the margin of a book.

astronomy has been so interesting to me ever since i was young and marilyn auntie would take me out to identify planets and constellations. if i were better (read: any good at all) at math, my life would be set. unfortunately that's not the case, so i'm stuck in...humanities.

interesting things have been happening lately. i've had no desire to write about them. but if you'd like to talk to me about space, obligations to improving the conditions of the world, this boy, my guilt concerning the situation in sri lanka, or anything really, i have lots of free time this quarter.

spring! spring! i am so happy.

SPRNGBRK 2K8

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:17:44 GMT

see ya suckas

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 00:45:05 GMT

when i finally emerged from under three blankets this morning, high street was completely muffled in a foot of snow. the only other person i saw was someone skiing down the middle of the road.

not really accomplishing anything. lots of disappointments.

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:13:57 GMT

because of today there is hope for humanity!
in mere days we will be together far away from here, and we will laugh and play and all will be corrected.
in the meantime, hang onto your butts.

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 22:51:26 GMT

oh gad.
i'm twenty.

Q1: how did this happen?
Q2: what do i do?

A1: don't be dumb, sam.
A2: taxes.

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 01:20:29 GMT

wtf bronchitis and a sinus infection?
this is my house!!

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:54:27 GMT

Weltschmerz (from the German meaning world-pain or world-weariness) is a term coined by the German author Jean Paul and denotes the kind of feeling experienced by someone who understands that the physical reality can never satisfy the demands of the mind. This kind of pessimistic world view was widespread among several romantic authors such as Lord Byron, Giacomo Leopardi, François-René de Chateaubriand, Alfred de Musset, Nikolaus Lenau and Heinrich Heine.

It is also used to denote the feeling of sadness when thinking about the evils of the world.

The modern meaning of Weltschmerz in the German language is the psychological pain caused by sadness that can occur when realizing that someone's own weaknesses are caused by the inappropriateness and cruelty of the world and (physical and social) circumstances.

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 07:07:18 GMT

i can't read about isaac newton anymore.
i can't.

today my dad called to ask my advice.

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 07:25:21 GMT

martin and kt make me feel like a million bucks.

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 08:46:29 GMT

i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do i don't know what to do